


Earth girls (who haven't had sex in two weeks) are easy

by Faerie_reader



Category: Earth Girls are Easy (1988)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, F/M, First Time, SHE REALLY needed to get laid, it's been a while for poor Val
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:17:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15047669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faerie_reader/pseuds/Faerie_reader
Summary: What actually happened in that scene- minus the gemstones and blowing hair...AlternativelyMac has earth sex for the first time.





	Earth girls (who haven't had sex in two weeks) are easy

**Author's Note:**

> I have taken it upon myself to add smut to this tiny fandom. You're welcome. Idk how aliens have sex on Jhzella, but Mac's got a penis.

"Well-no-no! You're an alien and I'm from the valley! Who knows if we're... Anatomically correct for each other? That could be a real problem..." Valerie hears Mac unzip his pants and against her will she sneaks a quick glance. Suddenly she can't stop staring.  
Either Candy had shaved them ALL OVER or Martians were normally hairless- either way, Valerie could see everything; and Mac wasn't lacking in the length department.  
"No problem." She said to herself. After all, Mac wasn't listening. Quickly trying to dissuade herself she started to ramble again. "No no! But, I mean, uh, no, no, no. It just wouldn't work! You're from our of town, the phone bills would just be hell!-" Mac sits next to her and shushes her gently.  
He looks at her tenderly and with lust just beginning to cloud his eyes. Valerie is momentarily struck speechless until she finds her tongue again. "I just don't want you to think earth girls are easy." She is staring deeply into his eyes and leaning closer at the same time he does. "What is easy?" He whispers and Valerie manages to breathe out, "this is easy," before sealing her lips to his.  
He leads for a bit before breaking away after a few more moments of kissing. "Show me sex." He asks and stares into her eyes.  
Val stutters out different variations of yes before kissing him deeply, licking his lips until he gets the hint to open them. He learns quickly and they're soon tangled in both tongues and sheets. Valerie breaks apart to breathe and Mac is panting softly.  
"Is this sex?" Mac whispers- afraid to break the almost dreamy atmosphere. Val laughs quietly and starts to remove her own pajamas. "No Mac. That's just kissing. I'll show you sex,"  
Once her clothes are off, she moves in to continue kissing, but Mac stops her. He holds her hips and looks her up and down, his eyes tracing her every curve in the dark. Valerie squirms and moves to cover herself in embarrassment. "I suppose I don't look as pretty as an alien from your planet, but-" Mac shushes her again. Gently tracing the outline of her body, he soothes Valerie and pulls her arms down. "You are beautiful Valerie," He says with more sincerity in his voice than Ted had ever used. Smiling shyly, Valerie leans in to continue kissing.  
They fall back onto the bed and Mac presses her to his own body, his penis slowly getting harder. Mac's kisses make their way from Valerie's mouth to her neck and ears. "Ok?" He whispers against her ear and her throat dries up. Nodding she gasps lightly as he nips at her ear. "Yeah-yeah. Great, actually."  
Mac slowly makes his way down her body, kissing and nipping her collarbone and chest, stopping at her breasts. "Ok?" He asks staring up at her with dark, lusty eyes.  
Val nods and unconsciously holds her breathe. Mac kisses her breasts and carefully licks around them. Tilting his head he cautiously licks her left nipple. Val gasps and Mac pulls away slightly. "Not good?" He asks with worry, but Valerie quickly shakes her head. "No! Very good! More, please Mac!" Mac nods and licks some more. Quickly catching on, he sucks her nipple into his mouth, and Valerie lets out a yell. "MAC! Oh, yes!" Encouraged on by Val, he licks and nips her breast. Pulling up his hand, Val places it on her neglected right breast. "Could you... Like this?" Removing himself from her left breast he watches her instructions and starts to roll and lightly tug her right nipple.  
"Is this sex?" He asks as Val arches into his touch. Gasping slightly she shakes her head. "No! But we should get onto that." Leaning up Val detaches from his touch to pull him into a passionate kiss.  
Breaking away she pushes him away to rummage around in her nightstand. "We're going to need a few things first-lube, and a condom." Pulling out each as she says them, she shows them to Mac and explains them. "Lube is so you go in easier, and the condom is to make sure I don't get pregnant." Mac nods at her words then furrows his brow.  
Rearranging herself and gently leading him, Val carefully straddles his waste and places the condom and lube next to them. "Well, you're already pretty... Aroused... But I'd like to show what earth girls have to offer." With this declaration, Val takes his dick in hand. Mac gasps and groans, pushing into her hands.  
Smiling in triumph, Val strokes up the shaft and gets familiar with the head. His anatomy is close to a normal male Penis, except for the head. Angled and ruffled, it was similar to a flower-if flowers looked like gills. Tracing these skin flaps, Valerie watches as they pulse slightly, turning neon orange, pink, and yellow. "Wow." She whispers, her hands slowing to watch in wonder.  
"Does Ted not have this?" Mac asks between groans, trying and failing to not shove himself into Valerie's hands. She shakes her head and rubs the head to see the colors pulse and fade. Mac shoves his hips up and moans as her hands rub harder against the head of his cock.  
"No. No one has this. I'm going to stop now. Going to get the condom." Giving him one last rub she reaches for the condom and rips it open. "We have sex now?" Whispers Mac before gasping as she slides on the latex. "Yes, now we have sex," Valerie says in an answering whisper, applying the lube before stopping.  
"What is wrong Valerie?" Mac asks, as she simply sits there staring at his penis. "It's Been a while since I've done this. I think I should be on the bottom." She nods and quickly lays down.  
Mac shifts to hover over her, and watches as she parts her lips on her vagina. "Whatever makes Valerie happy," he smiles at her and Val blushes. Carefully, she shows him how to insert into her and they both groan when the head of his penis successfully enters her.  
It's a slow push from there, and by the time Mac bottoms out, they're both panting and sweating. "Is... This sex?" Mac groans out and Valerie nods and pants. She's never felt so full-or so satisfied! Having sex-especially with Mac- felt like having a balm being soothed over a old burn; perfect and just what was needed.  
Mac seems to grasp the general idea of sex because he starts to rock into Valerie, slowly but firmly. Moaning and arching her back, Val pulls him down for a kiss, breaking only to moan out encouragements. Her pleas of "Faster!" And "More!" Soon had Mac practically slamming in and out, moaning in both his native language and some clips of English. As for Valerie, she was trying to hold on to whatever brain cells weren't screaming in pleasure. Both their bodies were shiny with sweat; Valerie's hair was a mess, and the product in Mac's hair was wilting. Neither of the lovers cared: for they only saw the beauty in each other.  
Mac thought Valerie's kisses tasted like strawberries, and she seemed to glow in the moonlight, her hair a curly halo around her head. Valerie was struck by how ethereal Mac looked: his strong arms supporting his his toned body, and his hair wild and his eyes filled with love and lust. Grasping Mac's arms, she felt her orgasm rush toward her like a wave.  
"Mac! I'm so close!" She moaned and Mac nodded and groaned, also close to his own orgasm. Valerie came first, screaming Mac's name, clenching around him and spasming. Mac soon followed, shuddering and moaning Valerie's name and muttering in his language. He held himself for a bit, only panting and sharing the same air, inches away from Valerie's face. "I like earth sex." He said finally, causing both of them to laugh, and for him to softly fall next to her. Grimacing, he peeled off the condom and hands it to Val. She wrinkles her nose and tosses it in the trash, then snuggles next to him. Sighing on contentment, Valerie snuggles close to Mac who smiles softly down at her. "You know, that's the best sex I've had in a while." Mac's eyes grow heavy and he strokes her head while she strokes his stomach. "Now we sleep?" He asks softly, and Valerie smiles. "Yes," she yawns out, "We sleep."

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd.


End file.
